It’s not always easy to face battles, when you get reminded of the damage. Still you keep things going, because you want things to get better. Improvement has its priority.
So far I’ve said this a few times already, but once things get back to you, it doesn’t mean it wants to make you feel the pain all over again. All it does is trying to show you that things need a new perspective. Things can change a lot in a year and we’re automatically change with them. This is where your strength is starting to show. You can do so much better than this! But like I said, it’s not always easy once you face the same thing that has happened before. So to be fair in this whole situation, there’s still something that is holding you back. And once you start figuring out what this ‘something’ is, only then your change of view can start.
As for myself, I know that I need to start trust in people. Let certain thoughts for what it is, don’t overthink too much or keep digging in the past. Let it go! After all these years of searching for what’s right, the most important thing for me to do now is have faith that things will finally fall into place! If I have the courage to invest a whole year to improve myself, I have enough strength to make this new perspective happen.
Once a certain experience repeats itself, it’s easy to get back into this. At least, once you still have this ‘something’ which holds you back from moving on. Maybe we don’t always see this, but somehow your body always reacts to these past experiences. Like my own. So far this year is all about improvements, getting out of that comfort zone and see how far I can push myself. But this is where the body part comes along. Because I’m busy pushing myself to finally make things happen, I also push my body and mind to get through these awful (past) depressed feelings and thoughts. And as far I can tell, these two don’t always like what I’m trying to do now. So not only do I need to put strength in to positive energy to fight things, but as well in to physical energy for my body who doesn’t always like teaming up with my way of thinking. Though I know now, that once you set a goal, no matter how small or big it might be, as long as you set your mind to it, that way of thinking is so much stronger, than any feeling I have felt so far!
They always say, as long as you try to find beauty and positive things in everything, you’ll get through anything! Bad feelings are temporary. So until that day, where my body and mind are still in war, I will keep defending myself and look out for positive things in these battles. Because every lost battle is another investment to improve in the things that aren’t strong enough to win! But soon, I will be the winner.