It’s easy to write depressing stories and put negative words into a text. But that’s exactly what I don’t want to share in these blogs. You can say I’ve written a thousands words already, but once I read them over I deleted it all. Personally, I think it’s not interesting enough to read, even though it might be something I just want to get rid of. Besides, it’s just a matter of opening that one door and immediately hundreds of negative thoughts and feelings come in. Just like that.
I guess what makes a story interesting to read, is the way you see the change during the paragraphs.
So here I start, which might be something personal to share, but to me that’s the good part of the whole writing thing. You can either way make it something to let people face reality or make them dissapear into a world of fantasy. It’s funny while saying this, actually. Because the moment I start writing, I always put on some epic fantasy music to make me feel real with the words I’m going to write down. Guess to me, it’s a combination of an escape to, eventually, face reality.
To me, writing things down is most of the time a self reflection on how to make things become more clear. Like, how do I face this? What do I want to do about it? What makes me feel better? Etc. We can’t be positive or happy all the time, even though we try so hard. But that’s the exact point what happens here. You can’t force things to become as you want them to be. Obviously, we can work as hard as we can for the things we want, but some things just need to go the way they should be going. That doesn’t mean it’s tough though. It hurts. It hurts so much. Because at that moment all we can do is, to trust that things will either way fall into place or not. Time will tell, eventually. And I guess that’s the hardest part of it all, because we like to have control over things. But we can’t have it all, you know. So how do you surrender yourself if it all hurts, way too much? Because too much of anything can be killing.
Well in this case you need to count on your own strength. Keep yourself together and try to do what feels right for you. Believe me, I know it scares the crap outta you. But even though it does, whatever it is that you’re feeling, well, do it! If you have any doubts, then let it a rest for a few days. Does it come back? Then you should probably do it! It all comes down to you, precious people. If you think you need help, ask for it! Don’t be embarassed by the way you are at this very moment. Grab your shit together and make your own descissions! Who cares you are a huge mess? Embrace that shit, but try to be open about it and choose wisely. There are enough people walking around like there’s nothing wrong with them. But really, everyone has their things to deal with! The only difference between them and you is that they don’t let it bring them down for who they are. Because they know. They embrace it and fight against it! It’s all mindset to focus on what you want. Follow your guts. 99% of the time you’re probably right. But make sure you start talking and make some little babysteps! If you can’t face this on your own, surround yourself with people you feel good about. If not, then that’s fine too. We can’t please everyone. At some point in our lives we all need to be a little more selfish. We can’t always help one another. Even though, personally, I’d love to help out many people, but I just can’t. And you can’t keep sacrificing yourself, cause we’re not built like that.
I guess that’s the most interesting thing I find about live. Doing things which we aren’t human enough for. But at some point you have to face yourself as well. But that doesn’t mean you can’t keep putting out good. The world needs way more of that! What I’m trying to say is, an escape to reality is way more needed than you think. And by writing things down, I guess you can say it’s still a little place of your own where you can put all your thoughts together. The only difference being in a fantasy is that these words become real and based on your own truth. And if you can’t find the strength you need in these tough times, try to put it into words. Read them over and over and say them out loud. The difference you feel after each time you finished reading, that is strength! And once you feel that, hold on to it. Because you, my dear reader, are way stronger than live itself. Otherwise you wouldn’t be given this precious gift, at all.
Now go and escape into reality!